How Do I Say ‘No’ Around the Holidays?

It can be easy to want to appease your family members, especially around the holidays. There is a lot of hustle and bustle coming from all over the place during this time of the year, from shopping to find the right gift to going to see musicals, decorations, and family dinners. It is easy to overcommit yourself and struggle with learning how to say no.

This blog will explore healthy boundaries, how to kindly say no, and provide different perspectives on creating a safe space for your recovery. Additionally, you will learn how Restoration Recovery Center can assist in helping you create boundaries.

Kindly Say No

It is difficult to say no around the holidays. There seem to be so many people to see, but maybe you just do not want to engage in all the activities. Perhaps you have been thinking about how to say no to family members for a while, but you are not sure how to start the conversation. Or you have said no in the past and it came off as harsh. You must take into consideration how your recovery will be affected by not being able to say no around the holidays.

Consider the following helpful suggestions on ways to kindly say no:

• Be mindful of your tone of voice and how that may affect another person. You want to speak in a firm and fair tone. In addition, avoid an aggressive or harsh tone.
• Give a compliment or express gratitude for them thinking about you before you say no. Research shows that gratitude is one way to reduce stress around the holidays.
• Smile when saying no.
• Think about your boundaries and what you want from the holiday season.

Permit Yourself to Say No

Understanding your boundaries is an important concept when the holiday season approaches. You do not have to be mean about your boundaries and what you say no to. It can be just the opposite. Many people have an instant reaction to say yes when someone asks them to do something. Additionally, people struggle with the ways to say no due to not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings.

You have to give yourself permission to honor yourself and say no to that which does not support your recovery. In treatment, you learned about boundaries, and learning to say no is guarding your recovery. It is about what you are willing to allow in your space. 

You have worked hard to eliminate triggers and unhealthy coping skills. Permit yourself to focus on yourself and what makes your heart sing instead of what makes everyone else happy.

What Does the Word ‘No’ Have to Do With Recovery?

The word no simply reminds you what is permissible and what is not in harmony with your recovery. Setting boundaries in recovery is a part of relapse prevention. Allowing anyone into your healthy space can be a trigger to your thought process. For example, say you are around certain people you used to use or drink with at a holiday party. You may find yourself glamorizing these behaviors and have an emotional relapse.

Personal boundaries are what you value about yourself. For example, perhaps you like solitude and need to engage. Therefore, you might set a boundary for yourself to engage with others just two nights a week. 

Boundaries and the Holidays

The holiday season can run the risk of potential relapse. Learning how to say no can protect your recovery and keep you healthy. You have to figure out what is important to you and how to navigate recovery during the holidays. Ask yourself, “Who do I struggle saying no to?” Next, make a plan beforehand as to what saying no this person looks like to you. Think about all the scenarios and how you will respond beforehand.

Taking care of personal needs is an important component of recovery. Lack of self-care around the holidays can cause you to lose focus and self-discipline. Hence, feelings of restlessness and irritability can surface, which can cause an emotional relapse, as mentioned above. If you are struggling with saying no during the holiday season, Restoration Recovery is here to help with our individual and group counseling services.

Healthy Boundaries at Restoration Recovery

Recovery is an individual journey. There is no right or wrong way to be in recovery. You have to figure out what brings you the most peace and joy. At Restoration Recovery, we understand the value of saying no around the holidays and how difficult that can be. Communication is key in establishing boundaries and ways to say no. 

Establishing healthy boundaries with those around you is just as important as eliminating triggers. Restoration Recovery is here to guide you in being the best version of yourself and assist you with incorporating healthy boundaries in your recovery. 

The holidays are a stressful time of year – even more stressful when you struggle with saying no. Learning how to say no during the holidays can create feelings of guilt or emotional turmoil. You are incorporating healthy boundaries in your holiday festivities, which can be an unknown territory. At Restoration Recovery, we understand the difficulty that saying no can bring. We want to help you establish those boundaries and make your holiday season spectacular. If you or someone you know struggles with saying no, please do not hesitate to call us at (888) 290-0925. We are committed to helping you to be the best version of yourself in recovery. Call us today.